Here we are again. It's that time of the year when for the next seven days my blog is dedicated to sharing stories about Endometriosis to raise awareness. From March 3-9, 2017, I will be featuring a different story each day.
As I did last year, I reached out through social media to my Endometriosis groups for help in raising awareness for our shared disease. Brittany responded to my call for submissions and I am happy to share her story with you. Her story is one of strength, faith, and determination.
Focus Scripture: Psalms 61:1-2
Disclaimer: Rather you believe in God or not, I respect everyone’s opinions and am not here to convert or convince anyone. I am only sharing my story, and it is my hope not to offend anyone in anyway. If I do so please forgive me, charge it to my head and not my heart.
My name is Brittany Betts, I am 31 years old, an uncertified chef married to a certified chef. Ha! I enjoy drawing, writing poetry, & creating healthy endo friendly recipes. I am a huge advocate of raising awareness of endometriosis and encouraging others. Below is an excerpt from my private journal titled: “Lady-In-Waiting”. I invite you in, and hope you enjoy what you read. Better yet, I desire above all that your heart is encouraged.
“Hear my cry oh God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I". (Psalms 61:1-2)
To: The hurting, and sad-hearted
I have yet to experience the joy of what it feels like to have a life growing on the inside of me, nor feel the first kick of a baby in my womb, nor am I aware of what it sounds like to have someone call me “mommy”, and I have yet to see my husband eyes light up when I announce pregnancy news. However, I have been intimately exposed to morning sickness, debilitating pain, and medical debt. I’ve felt the mental pain of a chemical pregnancy then very early miscarriage, I’ve seen the sadness in my husband’s, friends and family eyes when they notice it’s “that time of the month” again and I am sick. I have seen my husband’s eyes light up when he hugs our precious nieces and nephews, and then felt his pain as his eyes, for a second, lingered in longing for our yet conceived child. I have seen my family helplessness as I lay in agony and they don’t know what to say or do. I’ve felt anger, jealously, bitterness, sadness, but joy, happiness, and elatedness’ when another friend announced their baby news. Yet, regardless of how I feel or felt, I choose to not allow feelings nor negative emotions (or someone’s beautiful pregnant belly) rule my actions.
See, I have endometriosis, a disease that technically doesn’t have a cure. A disease that puts me in the hospital every month, dehydrated from vomiting, organs bruised and misused by a disease that is intent on destroying them. Yet, regardless of the pain I have chosen that this illness will not rule my life.
At the age of 14 I realized that when I started my period, something was wrong. However, I was told that my days out of school due to period pain was “normal”; that laying on the bathroom floor in a fetal position was “normal” and at the tender age of 19 I was told I may never have children. By 2016 I found an excision surgeon who said all my reproductive organs were fused together because of endometriosis and am scheduled for surgery in April of 2017.
The daily weaknesses I endure are broken off by going to the one my soul delights in; God. Even though I feel like I am dying every month, it is by HIS strength that I have not. He has kept me alive. I have learned to fully depend on him; to grow through the pain of another menstrual cycle or baby shower. My dear reader, it’s not always easy but we know that we must allow God to illustrate his strength through our weaknesses. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me”. See how it perfectly illustrates that we have limitations but our Savior does not. These limits remind us that only through him do you have the ability & strength to get through the difficult times.
Having endometriosis is overwhelming! Yes, indeed it is, no doubt about that. Although your heart at times is overwhelmed, depend on HIM, trust HIM; doing so will lead you to that place that is higher than endometriosis; a place of peace-filled faith, a place of joy and rest.
Jesus, thank for being the rock that is higher than the trials of endometriosis; Thank you father for knowing what we need when we need it. Lord forgive us for being anxious & impatient, forgive us for worrying, forgive us even for having the wrong attitude during this journey. Help us, we are weak in areas of our lives but you are strong. Help our husbands, family members, friends, & other endo suffers, during the process of healing/waiting. Teach us how to encourage each other, let this be a time that we grow in faith together, not a time that we grow apart from our loved ones. But a time that we all realize that you hear our cries, that you attend to our prayers therefore, we will trust you. Give us peace-filled faith.