Monday, March 30, 2015

Five, Four, Three...Two

This past Friday I found myself in Red Robin with my husband and youngest son celebrating our two oldest sons being away on a camping trip.

Except, we weren't really celebrating

I actually had to keep looking at our youngest, to focus on him, so that I wouldn't burst out into tears

My husband has been processing this, daily I think, for quite some time.  And, I never got it.  I never understood what he was grieving because, you know, they are still here.  They are still with us, in our home and still here.

This weekend I kind of got it.

As happy as I was to see our middle son advance up in scouting and go on his first Boy Scout camping trip with his older brother, it hit me like a sledge hammer that they are, in fact, getting older.
That's some scary shit

I don't know that I could have handled it any better the way my husband has been going about it. This almost daily resurrection of a future where our children will no longer be under our roof.  It seems so depressing, in fact.

I was actually kind of celebrating this fact.  Because, well, I'm kind of selfish, I guess.  Or maybe, because I long for the day when I can just get up and leave, do whatever I want.  That time is not now.  It will come though.  

But, this, this all of a sudden-ness of the realization that one day it will, in fact, be just the two of us was really kind of ... weird.

It's never just been the two of us, ever.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Finding Time

Ugh!

It's not bad, really.  I just need to evaluate my time.

I was fortunate enough to find a job that allows me to stay at home and telecommute, for the most part. Which is GREAT!  It's part time and I get to set my own hours.  So, I chose to work when Will is sleeping.

Makes sense, right?

Work while child is sleeping and I can be fully attentive to the task at hand.

Logical!

Problem - well, challenge is more like it - it's cutting into my writing time.  My creative time and I have so little of it to begin with.

Blah!

So, here I am on a Wednesday evening trying to squeeze something in...and, I don't want to squeeze something in.  Like, that shouldn't be the process - squeezing something in.  I love writing, it's an outlet for me and I enjoy it.

I need to make time for it, again.  Just different time.  Because this work thing, yeah...I kind of need that.



Wednesday, March 18, 2015

I Was Given A Microphone

On Saturday I met with 13 amazing people at DL Loft in Chicago and exposed myself.

Photo Credit Balee Images
Not in that way!

You know, when you let go and become raw and vulnerable.

Photo Credit Balee Images
That

I did that

And I sat and listened.  I listened to amazing people share honestly and openly.  They reminded me that I am not alone.  They will do the same for you, too.

Photo Credit Balee Images
They will share their experience, strength and hope
They will draw you in with their honesty and you will feel all of the feelings. ALL.OF.THE.FEELINGS.

Because when you open yourself up to hear, really hear by opening your heart and mind, those feelings swell and they allow you to connect.  You will know that you are not alone.

I am humbled to be given the honor to share another one of my truths on stage at this years Listen to Your Mother.  The Chicago performance will be on Sunday, May 3rd at 2pm at the Athenaeum Theatre.
I am blessed to be able to share the stage with this wonderful group of people.

Photo Credit Balee Images
Listen to Your Mother features live readings by local writers in celebration of Mother's Day.  You will laugh and cry and think "me too!" and know that you are not alone.  That you, too, have a story to tell.  Oh, and bring tissues.

To follow the Chicago Listen to Your Mother 2015 show, click here
To purchase your tickets to the Chicago Listen to Your Mother 2015 show, click here