What's that saying?
No news is good news
Attitude is everything
Having a negative attitude is a waste of time
Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day
You get the idea, right?
I got some not so great news today. Not like end of the world, life is over as I know it kind of news. Just, not great news. And, I'm not going to allow it to take over my day. I'm not going to allow my mind to wonder to all the "what if's" or go there...wherever there is. I'm not going to make my life hard.
I had gone in for my yearly OB appointment about a month back and was talking to my doctor about some changes that have occurred in my cycle. Changes that I assuming pre-menopausal. I may only be 39, but I've been cycling for a long, long time. And, it's typical for women in my family to start menopause a little early.
There was concern and I was sent for further testing.
I found out today that I am not starting menopause a little early.
It's not bad news. It just wasn't the news that I was expecting. I wanted to be told that I was right, that I was in fact starting the next stage of womanhood, that I was menopausal.
So, in a little under two weeks I'll be going in to have my left ovary and left fallopian tube removed in addition to some other stuff. To be honest, by this point in my conversation with my doctor I was responding with a lot of "uh, huh", "yep", "totally". Words like pre-cancerous and endometriosis will do that to me.
But, through the blessing of modern technology, things like scans can be done. And what those scans show is of enough concern that coupled with my family's medical history, surgery is needed.
I just reassured him that I was in fact done having children. That whatever needed to be done, I was fine with.
I think we both breathed a little easier after I said that. I needed to say that out loud, validate it, own it.
This, whatever this is, this is my next stage.