Friday, November 7, 2014

An Artist

...more like An "Artist", complete with air quote.

Or, at least, that is how I THINK it should be viewed.

The reality, though, what I really want to strive for, is, just that.

To be known as an Artist.

I am, though, my worst critic.  I have what I like to call an itty bitty shitty committee that holds court in my mind, at the ready to tear apart most of what I think or desire.

I'm working on silencing that committee.

What works is surrounding myself with like-minded and supportive people.  I don't have many of them, but they are there.

And, then there is my husband.  That sweet man.  When he introduces me I am his wife, the writer and photographer.

I want to believe that I am a writer and a photographer.
I want to be a writer and a photographer.

More than anything, I want to create.

It is the fear of judgement and not being accepted that holds me back, though.  The fear of failure as well.

I'm letting go of those defects of character.  I'm putting myself in scary and vulnerable places, like writing and submitting a job proposal, and then following up on it to make sure that it was received. Writing and submitting a personal essay on Postpartum Depression.  Like calling myself an Influencer through my photography & writing and...AND being okay with that and just letting it go.

It is

And, then, the other night my husband says to me that he wants the home to be the top priority because it will allow me the most flexibility to be an artist, because art can't be constrained.

An Artist

Freedom to be

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