Tomorrow is my 12th wedding anniversary. But, that's not why it's going to be a busy weekend. Tomorrow is also my going to be 15 year old and going to be 10 year old's family birthday party...oh, and we are going to Sky Zone on Sunday...oh, and tonight, I have a children's re-sale to go to...and I need to make gluten free-soy free-dairy free brownies, and pick up cupcakes on my way home from the re-sale. Shit! I forgot about food for the party tomorrow...there's something else, but I don't remember...
You get the point
But, back to this anniversary thing. So, I've been married to THIS GUY for 12 years
I am constantly being reminded of how lucky I am to be married to THIS GUY by my father. And yep, I realize that I did good.
Here's the thing though, marriage is work. But, that is likely not anything you are hearing (or reading) for the first time.
I recall being asked to list like three important things or sage advice or something like that...pearls of wisdom? about marriage for a bridal party game a few years back - here are my pearls:
1) Communication is key. And I suck at this big time. I'm one to answer with one word when I could spill a mountains worth. It's my failure and it's something that I'm working on. But, this communication thing...HONEST communication...it's key.
2) In the words of Fat Boy Slim - "I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like I should." I don't speak ill of my husband in public EVER. Here's the deal, it's no one's business. My husband is a great guy and if there is something that he is doing or saying or whatever, that I find irritating or insulting or whatever, that is between him and I, and no one else. This is difficult for me because I'm a competitive ass. So, when I'm in a situation where people are gossiping and bad mouthing their husbands I totally want to join in. I normally just walk away, though. It's not worth it and I try not to focus on the negative or bad, because there is so much good.
3) And, for yet another song reference, Styx - "Show me the way." I am constantly trying to improve, to change and to grow. My husband is a real life example of this for me. It's so easy to stay, to not change and to think that nothing is going to get better. Because, like marriage, change takes work.
Communication * Praise * Change
And, my life is better because of it
Don't mistake me, I'm not saying my life is 'easy', I'm saying it's better. I don't live in a fairy tale where woodland creatures follow at my heals. Though, right now I'm trying to hunt down a field mouse that got into the house, but that's not what I'm talking about. You see, I was put here to be the best me that I can possibly be, and my husband helps me do that. I'm a better wife because of him, I'm a better mother because of him and I'm a better person because of him.
When he introduces me to people, I am his wife, the writer.
I don't even do that.
He gets me, when I don't even get myself. And that, that is pretty awesome.
*Show Me The Way was our 1st dance song
*Praise You was our introduction song