Friday, May 9, 2014

Over, for now

Today we attended our last homeschool activity day with one of the two co-ops that we belong to.  It's always a monthly internal struggle that goes on within me regarding this co-op in particular.
You see, we are secular homeschoolers.  I do not follow a Christian format, though we are a Christian family (Methodist, specifically).
This co-op, though, is a Christian group.  Like, A CHRISTIAN GROUP.
Here's my dilemma (and it's all me, I totally understand that), I have to sign a statement of faith to be a part of this group.  It's very generic and it aligns with the other congruent truths that we surround ourselves with, but...BUT...
I have to sign a statement of faith
I feel like such a fraud and I truly do not feel like a part of this group
Again, it's me - there are some really lovely people there, and some are quite nice.  I tend to gravitate towards them.  The others, well, whatever.
But, every month I need to prepare myself.  I need to sit in quiet and focus on what's important - my child.
And, once again, I have to sign a statement of faith in order to re-join the group for the upcoming school year.
And, again, I signed it because I do not contest anything that is on that sheet of paper.
The group meets 10 minutes from my home
The group has over 75 children that participate in it

The group is well organized - insanely well organized
And, the group is Christian based.
And, I am a secular homeschooler who does not teach from a Christian view who feels like a fraud for being in their presence.
This one group, this is the one place where I do not feel like I am one among many.  And, again, I know it's me.  Because I am not on their page.  Yet again, square peg in round hole.
My child though, he loves it there.  He looks forward to it every month.

And, we will go to their park days over the summer
And, we will attend their back to school picnic
And, in September, we will return to their activity days.  My son will continue to enjoy it and hopefully I'll be in a better place and more secure with myself for being a secular homeschooler who belongs to a Christian homeschool co-op.  Actually, just being more secure with myself and my beliefs in general.  

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