Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Balance

I'm continuing on my commitment to post once per day as part of NaBloPoMo over at Blog Her.  I'm actually going to use the prompt from yesterday, which was:

Monday, November 7, 2011
Making family time is important to me. How do you balance your children, relationship, and work life? (Guest Post by Ricki Lake, who can be found on Facebook or Twitter @RickiLakeShow)

It's is difficult for me to balance my children from every other aspect of my life because I am with them so much during the day.  I do work part time outside of the home and quite sadly I have come to look forward to going to work just to get out of the house.  I KNOW!  And my job sucks too.  Folding towels and cleaning toilets is not a life calling.  It is what it is and I know I won't be there forever.  What I do know though is that if I do not take time out of the day for myself I'll likely hurt someone or fly off the handle.  What's that saying "If mom isn't happy, no one is happy"?  And I'm not talking 'I want to go to Hawaii otherwise I'll make your life miserable' type pettiness for happiness.  I mean contented happiness.  Like an exhale.  When I am restless, irritable or discontented I will react to life around me rather than act.  Me reacting is not a good thing, it's like a knee jerk reaction. 
How do I carve out time for myself?  Well, I guess it all depends on the day in question.  Lets look at Monday (only because it's not typical of any other day during the week).  In the morning up until about 1pm I am homeschooling, after that I am doing house work and catching up on laundry.  I make a few phone calls, catch up on e-mail throughout the day and try to blog (operative word here is 'try').  Around 5pm I start dinner, it's on the table by 6pm and we are done by 6:30-ish.  The boys take their showers and then leave with Dave to go to Cody's Boy Scout Troop meeting.  I then in turn do whatever in the hell I feel like for two whole hours.  Usually I read, sometimes I try to catch up on some shows that are DVR'd, other times I run errands for myself (I don't like taking the boys with me if I have to buy clothes for myself.  They are bored, and I take a long time to decide on what I want).  But let me back up a little first, in the morning I take a quiet time to center myself and ask to be lead in the next right thing in all my thoughts and actions and before I go to bed at night a do a quick gratitude list to keep myself aware that my life doesn't suck, it actually is really, really good.  It's all about perception.
As far as relationships, Dave and I try to get one date night in per month.  That is really all we can scrape together right now.  We do talk almost every night and catch up with each other.  we do this when the boys are in bed so we don't get disrupted.  We also make time during the week to watch a show together as well.  Again, when the boys are in bed.  
As far as work goes, it's just a job.  It does not follow me home (other than comical or ridiculous stories to share).  I have a set schedule and there really are no surprises.
All I know is that when I start to get into a funk I have to reevaluate what is going on with me, no one else, ME.  What needs of mine are not being filled?  How can I ask for help in getting them filled?  Is there something that I can do to change to course that I am following?  My pissy mood is no ones fault other than my own.  As is my good mood.
I'd really like to have more time to work on my crafts.  The last six months of 2007 are still waiting to be scrapbooked.  I have a button to sew on a pair of dress slack and a wall quilt to assemble.  I'll get to them in time, eventually.  Right now I'm just rolling with my non-perfectionist self and trying to be okay with that.   

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